Wat m I doing???

haiz........i think its my mood swing gua? dunno y so emo tis days....

lately....i keep feeling i m losing my frens....

to make it more precise...tis is how i feel.....yes....i hv tons of frens....tons of them til i cant catch up wit every1.....so it wil always b a once in a blue moon's "hello"

lately....as every1 noes gua....i had a "mental breakdown"...yes....i m glad u guys n girls were there for me.... i appreciate it....

but then i look ag.....after it was over....every1 is gone ag.....

i feel like i hv always been a back up guy....1 hu ppl turn to ony when they r emotionally upset....
jeez.....seriously.....tis feeling is making me depress....its like i m ntg but just a wall to lean against when needed.....

o well...think bout it properly....tis is normal....cant expect every1 to b at my doorstep all the time....

Damn....i should hv gone to college long ago n make new frens....

the worse back up feeling i always feel is the "waiting" i m doing now....
i noe i shouldnt b feeling so bad since i hv promised to wait for her.....but i love her when she depends on me to get her smile back....but i hate it tat i cant b the 1st 1 in line....n i hate it when i bcome doubting my own patience n start thinking i m ntg but just a tool to depend on....argh....

WTF.....stop making me emo can onot..... i seriously hving mental wars within me tis days.....

Addresses

U noe....tis days.....i seem to notice ppl all r giving themselves english names....
normal wert i noe....

but then...i noticed, most guys r starting to call themselves Jacob....

dei....wat did u all watch or read which makes u all so into the name Jacob?

Jacob biscuits?

or Jacob the werewolf?

i don belive so many guys wanna b the back up guy all the time do u? It may sound cool.....sure....guys....u wil feel gr8 "she" wil depend on u when she needs u.... gr8....

but then, u may laugh at the feeling of jealousy thinking u can get over it....seriously, in the book, Jacob dint enjoy it....i dint myself.... i noe tat feeling.....

so wats wit Jacob boys? no1 interested in Edward?

shit....i m turning into a Twilight Saga freak......

Rays on the Horrizon!!!

hey ppl.....guess wat....

ntg..... : )

just to make u all stop worrying k?if u really r worried about me.... : p.... i m fine n well now.... my relationship problems is all under control....

ok....not entirely.....i stil hv to bear wit some pains.....but...cmon....since when things does not hv a down side?

seriously.....
i just wanna share how i felt n stil feel.....
if any of u read the Twilight saga, u may get it straight away....

i m neither Edward nor Jacob....but i m stil part of each person....

i was Edward when i was wit her 1st..... i was Edward when i left her..... i m Edward when i come back now to wait....i m Edward when i feel shes the ony 1 for me

but i m Not Edward as she dint come back to me....tis of course is reality.....how can some1 b so selfish to break ppls relationship for his own purpose?

I was Jacob recently when i felt hurt she stucked to some1else instead of staying wit me.....but i m Jacob as i m her pillar of support.....hu noes? mayb her "daughter" wil b the person i imprint on? but wat the hack? like i say...tis is reality ppl....

wat m i now? neither Edward nor Jacob....

i m Jimmy

shes the ony reason y i felt pain : (
but shes oso the reason y m i healing..... : )

if u ppl wanna noe how i feel tis days? i m feeling just fine k? i m much happier than i was for the past 2 weeks.....i don break down suddenly anymore....

i noe she needs me somewhere.....n i wil b there....
pls....don think bad of her or think me foolish pls....tis is wat i want for now....forever i guess...

cheers : )

Gonna Miss it Guys "_"

sry guys....i cant go Bukit Takun wit u all....i wanna go wit u guys....i wan the challenge myself...but reality calls....i got to work.....

sry dudes....hv fun....keep each others back safe wei....

: )

Missing You....

i made up my mind.....my broken heart is on the mend....thx to all of u....
thx mock n voon keong....u 2 r the 1 hu was mostly there wit me....

vigil nite....seriously let me think alot....i was so afraid of tat self reflection period

at the same time...it has made me decide.....

P.S
i dont deny wat my heart is telling me...i do love you....no other girl wil capture me anymore like how u do....yes....u told me not to hope on the fon.....but i dont care much longer....u broke my heart edy....its oredi broken....hoping ony helps mend my heart now.....it cant get any worse....i wil wait for you.....though u say tis may take long n u wont hv an answer for me....i don care.....i saw myself in ur eyes today n i don trust ur voice n words anymore...

ur eyes showed me i wil hv hope.... : )

i noe its already partly too late to bring u back to me,like i said, i don care.... i wil wait....til u r back on my side....i wil b half completed...

so hopefully by some chance....Me myself wil b completed soon....n tat wil ony b true when u r by my side once more....

i wil promise never to leave u ag.....unless u r the 1 hu wans to leave me.....i promise to give u back happiness like u said i did til i took it all away wit 1 foolish moment n more happiness .....i promise i wil give u the security which i was an idiot not to hv given u bfore....i promise to do my very best to help bring the future which we once painted together into reality....

til u r wit me ag.....i wait....wait til theres no more you or me.....

*but tat doesnt mean i wil cancel out my social life... :p i stil hv to go out wit my frens....mayb date once or twice while waiting....but like i said earlier....no1 can capture me as how u hv captured me ag.... i m urs til u r willing to b mine as well...

love you.....

LOST!!!!!!!!

I M LOST!!!!

I BLED THE TEARS OUT OF MY EYES...

I m so heartbroken.....it was just tortured at 1st....squeezed ag n ag....

now....its ripped.....torn....broken...shattered....lost....

i find no meaning anymore.....my current self is ntg but a wandering body without a soul.... a lie in life.....the smile tat appears on my face is ntg but a response wit no soul in it....

YOU hv shattered me....n i don blame u much for it....it was my own doing....i Hoped.....

i shouldnt hv thought so much when u turn to me for help.... i cant believe i was there when u had to b pained by tat bastard.....

now in return....i get a bigger impact on myself bcause i hoped....

my life is lost for now.....i admit,i wil not b the 1 to bring myself back to life..... i left my life to my frens to help bring me back.... my brothers!!!! sisters!!!!!!!

bring me back plS....gimme a meaning.... i noe i wil find the meaning ag....but i wan it to b soon....i hate tis body of mine typing here wit ntg but a sad wasted soul.....

PLS!!!! BRING ME HOME!

Results?

i haven heal myself at all.....

but i hv decided none of my choices can take place for a long time....so far...how hv i hold off my pains?

frens of course r so important....every1 is helping me by distracting me....even though the record of distracting me from my pain is ony at most half hr...i thk every1....

my pain is oso minimised by frens hu help let me throw my pain away as much as possible....by blirting everything out...thx so much for ur ears n eyes frens.... love u guys n girls....

u all r my truest frens....my choice is to for now linger my her side as much as possible....by ensuring she is safe n happy is my priority....

pls....may my pain not increase....i beg of thee hu ever gives me pain to hold it off

Long Hair is Directly Proportional to being Girlish?

(The Gazette band members hair length.... if possible wanna copy theirs too)

(lee jun ki's hair length...i wanna copy tis 1 1st)

(tis is sort of my current hair length lor ...way shorter then theirs)

dei....how many times i hv been called girl liao ya?

isit for fun or isit really 1st hand impression mistake or really like girl?

i don believe my hair tat long lor....if tis current length is long...then my future length is wat wor?

the other day ony....at a scouts meet, a lil girl scout bout standard 4 ony bump into me from the back n said "sry jie" n i was like "huh"?

does guys hving long hair proves them to b girls?

like tat all the koreans n japanese guys r girls? gilakah?

Going Crazy

i thought i was following my plan to continue my studies after noeing my results....i had a plan to go STPM or A levels....

i got my answer tat i m gonna go bcome a Taylorian in Taylors college....

yet the plan was to study ag in June....

Wat m i to do now until June????

like i said in Facebook....i m killing myself....time is giving me too much time.....all my frens r here n there...i cant regroup them....

Flashes....

okok...i said i wont say much bbout my indonesia trip....doesnt mean i wont upload some pics....tis pics r taken at a historic place call Burubudur....its said ppl come here for pilgrimage or something.... tats the place bhind my mum n bro

i had the guts to kacao the Buddha... :p

walking round n round the candi

it can b super tiring for us all.....

we sat here around Malaysian time 5 am?to c sunrise ony...

F***KING HOT!!!!

1ST of all...i aint toking about a girl.....

i m toking bout the freaking weather....its like a saunar wherever i go....

today i did my undang....(at last)

got a 48/50

lucky.....

whew..... i m freaking sweating here!!!!

All the Best

2morrow i m going to do 1 more exam in life ag....

Undang-Undang.

haiz....wish me luck tat the server between the examination place n JPJ is on....
wish me luck tat i get 42 question correct pls?

regards....

Jimmy